To you, it looks like I shrug it off. Maybe I do. Today, it really feels like I internalize it. I’m hurting, little, confused, scared.
I try to be a good person; I really do. I think I am a good person, but I’m not sure right now who I could find to tell me that I am. That’s the incredible power of poor self-esteem: no matter how well I succeed in being happy and confident most of the time, no matter how well-respected or well-liked I am, when something or someone activates one of my triggers, I no longer believe that anyone sees me as a good person.
Right now, I’m struggling to convince myself that I am lovable. That I am a good person. That people see me as a good person.
I understand that you might be disappointed in me right now. I’m disappointed in myself, too. The thing is, I’m not sure how to fix it. I’m not sure why it exists. I’m really sad and belittled by the fact that people need me to fix it- that they need me to fix ME. Aren’t I good enough just the way I am? Clearly, at the moment, I am not. And that sucks.
Damn.
5 comments:
the horrendous thing about a bad self esteem is that it lies. It lies about the truth, it tells you bullshit and says your wrong to disagree.
But babe, you are loved. You are lovable.
I promise.
You are fine. Really.
What have you done that would ever make me be disappointed in you? :) I have never seen one single thing! I know they say "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" but I think that's bunk. Are we better people if we have BAD intentions?
You have kindness in your soul. That's more important than any other thing, and there are so many people that don't seem to have any kindness these days.
It's going to get better.
Love,
Stella
other only have the power you give them.
own your self esteem - own your you feelings, & own your future.
Pam King
You, like many of us, are too hard on yourself.
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